Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Into the unknown again

It is a sad day...today we called our adoption agency to tell them we will not proceed with this birth mother.   To make a long story short, last week we found out that the birth mother tested positive for cocaine during her 7th week of pregnancy.  This past week and a half we have been working with our caseworker to figure out the truth.  We even scheduled her for a drug test on Friday that she did not go to until the next day.   To our utter disappointment, we realized that she has been lying to everyone the whole time.  Come to find out, she has a problem with cocaine and has used during this and other pregnancies.  Even though she wouldn't fully admit to it, we highly suspect that she is also using marijuana, smoking, and possibly drinking alcohol.   She was telling the doctor one thing, our adoption agency another, and then us something totally different.   Because of this she totally lost our trust and we don't know where the truth ends and the lies begin.  Our hearts are broken, but we still pray for her recovery and the health of the baby.  Hopefully this will be a wake up call to her and she can get her life straightened out.  I'm not sure what hurts more, being lied to or losing this baby.  In the meantime, we are back to square one with broken hearts and deflated hope.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Peanut's heartbeat

My mom has affectionately nicknamed the baby "peanut."  "Peanut" has even received a Christmas present from Mimi and Papa this year already.  Our present from this little peanut was to see him/her and hear the heartbeat.  On Friday, Noel and I went to Rachel's doctor appointment.  We were able to see a sonogram of the baby.  It was amazing.  It has a little head, arms, and legs already.  We saw it moving around a lot.  The baby was very wiggly.  The doctor zoomed in on the sonogram and showed us the heart.  It looked like a little flutter.   We got to hear the fast "whooshing" of the heart beat.  It was the best sound I ever heard.  The doctor printed out pictures for Rachel and then some pictures for us.  If I figure out how to post them on here, I will do so.

The next appointment won't be until January.  I don't know if we'll go to this one because she will only be doing some blood work and the glucose test.  The doctor said at 17 weeks, he will do the level 2 sonogram and we should be able to determine the sex of the baby.  So just 8 more weeks to go!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

"The" meeting

Today was a great day...today we got to meet our birth parents Rachel and Frank.  Noel and I were so nervous about this meeting.  We were so excited to meet them, but were worried about saying something stupid, or what if they didn't like us?  We first met at the adoption agency with our adoption counselor.  I could tell they were just as nervous as we were.  We introduced ourselves and then started to tell Frank and Rachel a little  bit about us.  Our conversation quickly felt comfortable and we began to talk about silly random things like our pets and what movies we like.  I guess it was due to nerves, but it was fun.  We seemed to hit it off with them right away.

Rachel's main concern is that we will follow through with what type of contact we agree too.  She was burned by this in the past and we assured her that we will be true to our word.  I commend her for putting her heart out there again, so we will be very careful to guard it and be respectful.

We decided to out to lunch together,  They took us to one of their favorite Chinese buffets- China Sea.  I told them it was fortunate for them that I finally started liking Chinese food in the past 7 years :)  (thanks to Noel, Julie, and Susan).

They showed us pictures of their children and some pictures of the baby they placed for adoption earlier this year.  They have some really cute kiddos, so this made Noel and I even more excited.  Rachel told us she has  feeling this one is a boy, so that made Noel really happy.  I think we still have about 11 weeks or so until we find out for sure.  She also told us that the furthest she has gone in a pregnancy is 38 weeks, so she is confident this baby will be born in June-  YAY!

I just can't describe what a blessing they are!  Rachel is so sweet and thoughtful.  She told me that she is getting registered with the hospital she wants to deliver at.  She said she likes this one particular hospital because they work with adoptions and provide a room for the adoptive parents to stay in with the baby.  They will also give us a car seat, a months supply of formula, blankets, and many other things.  This sounds wonderful!  She surprised me so much with her excitement for us, especially since we will be first time parents.  Rachel said that it makes her really happy that I'll get to experience everything with her like I was the one going through the pregnancy.  She wants us in the delivery room and will even let Noel cut the cord if he wants to (not sure how he feels about that yet :) ).  It just amazes me how the Lord has put this together with such amazing people.

So as I was just typing that last paragraph, I got a text message from Rachel that said she is so excited and hopes we can get really close.  So please be in continued prayer over this precious couple and baby. 

Oh ya, I can't forget to mention that we are going with Rachel to a doctor's appointment on Friday where we will get to hear the baby's heart beat and hopefully see a sonogram!!!  I'll post a picture if I get one.