Thursday, March 31, 2011

It's a......unicorn??

Ok...let me explain.  A couple of weeks ago we were visiting my parents and my brothers, sister-in-laws, niece, and nephew were there.  Natalie, my 5 year old niece, asked me what we were going to name our baby.  I told her the boy name and the girl name.  She replied to me, "I don't like that girl name."  I then said "You don't?  What do you think we should name the baby if it is a girl?"  She thought for a minute and then proclaimed "Unicorn!!"  Then she said with all seriousness again, "I'm gonna pretend I don't know her name and just call her Unicorn."  This is one story I will always remember and will have to tease her about.

Well, yesterday Stephanie went to the doctor for a sonogram to find out the sex of the baby.  So the news is.......drumroll.......IT'S A BOY!!!!!!  Sorry Nattie, you cannot call our son Unicorn :)  She sent me a picture text of the sonogram pictures and I must say this is one cute baby already.  She is almost 18 weeks along and he weighs 1.5 pounds  and all healthy.  Praise God!!!  Most of you who know us, already know what we've named him, but I will keep the rest of you in suspense for a while longer.

Today, we were able to meet with Stephanie and Raul.  They are such a sweet couple and so nice!!  We went out to lunch and just got to know each other.  They are laid back and down to earth.  Stephanie is such a neat girl.  She talked about some of the challenges she's had and how God has really helped her though it.  She is a Christian and is growing in her faith so much.  It was such a blessing to be able to discuss our mutual love for God over lunch.  I never dreamed that our birth mother would be a Christian and that we could be discussing faith and praying together.   She has such a positive attitude about life and her circumstances and seems to have gained wisdom during her struggles.  Please pray for this sweet girl as the Lord strengthens her faith.

This meeting was so encouraging and we are so excited to have our baby boy here in about 4 1/2 more months.  Stephanie and I have been keeping in touch by text messaging.  We decided to try and meet up once a month for lunch.  Now since I know we are having a boy, I can start decorating the nursery- Woo Hoo!!!!!

Here is Baby Boy Burns :)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A pleasant surprise

On my way home from work today, I got a call from our adoption counselor.  She had Stephanie in her office who wanted to talk to me.  Stephanie told me that she was sorry for not coming to the meeting and explained why she didn't come.  After hearing her explanation, I can't blame the girl for one minute.  She had to deal with some very serious stuff last week.  She told me that she's been pretty nauseous during the pregnancy, but didn't want medication because she'll get over it.   She really wants to meet us and sounded genuinely excited.  We talked about getting together next week.  It was such an unexpected and pleasant surprise and a great first conversation.  I look forward to the next few months and getting to know Stephanie and Raul.

Monday, March 21, 2011

B.I.A.

Back In Action---  So our caseworker finally heard from our birth mom this afternoon.  She did not show up for our appointment because she the past couple of days before that she had some family "drama" and she didn't feel like talking to anyone.  Another contributing factor was that her boyfriend had to work that day and couldn't be there too.  She apologized for standing us up and realizes that she should have at least called.  So we are still good to go at this point and will plan on meeting in a few weeks.  To me, it seems like this was a big step that maybe she wasn't ready to take- which we totally understand.  For now, we are just praying for her and the baby to stay safe and healthy and for us to be able and bring this baby home by early September.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

M.I.A

Missing In Action- this describes Stephanie our birth mom.  Yesterday Noel and I were scheduled to meet her for the first time but she never came.  We know that she had a meeting before our scheduled meeting so we don't know if she got tied up there.  All the adoption counselors said that it was very unlike her to not show up or call.  They talked to her the day before and she said how excited she was to meet us and she was still very confident in her decision for adoption.  At this point we are not sure what happened but we do know that she does not have reliable transportation or phone service.  If our agency doesn't hear from her by tomorrow, they will do a home visit on Monday. 

I am not at the "freak out" point yet, but just more concerned about her well being.  We are praying that she is okay and maybe just got cold feet to meet us.  Pray that she is safe and hasn't changed her mind. I'll keep you updated.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

We've come a long way

Tonight I decided to read back through all my blog posts since we started this adoption journey.  I can't believe how far we have come.  I can't believe how much work it has been.  Looking back I can see how God has answered so many prayers.   He provided everything we needed financially.  He gave us the energy to get our house "baby proofed."  He gave us the peace, patience, and faith we needed for this journey.  Wow.  I know this journey is not over yet, we still have a way to go...but we have come so far.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself at some of my random thoughts that I decided to share with you all.  To give you a few updates:  Our nursery is almost complete; the finishing touches will be made when we find out if the baby is a boy or girl.  I am still decluttering.  I did not have twin boys in July.  We do have a girl and a boy name picked out which will remain a secret for now.  Charlie continues to be stubborn, but has made a lot of progress.  And most importantly, our faith has been strengthened and we have the hope of a baby.

We turned in our commitment letter today along with the remainder of the expenses.  We are planning a meeting with Stephanie and Raul for next week, hopefully on Wednesday.   When Noel dropped off the paperwork to the agency today he asked how Rachel (the previous birth mom) was doing.  They said that they are no longer working with her because she continued to do cocaine and not cooperate with their program.  She was matched with another couple but caused the same problems with them as she did with us.  I was dumbfounded when I heard this.  She basically knew how to work the system and was doing that with this pregnancy too.  Please pray for this baby.  He or she is the innocent victim of her actions and deserves better.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Here we go again!

I have been keeping this secret for a week and a half now and it's driving me crazy!  We have been selected by a birth mother!  This baby is due September 3rd, so we still have about 5 1/2 months to go.  We found out two Friday's ago, but just got the paperwork today.  We have been waiting on the birth mother's expense list, which was just finalized yesterday.  So this morning Noel and I went to the adoption agency to review her paperwork. 

Her name is Stephanie and she is 21 years old; his name is Raul and he is 23.  They each have children from previous relationships and know that they are not prepared to parent an infant.  If my calculations are correct, she is about 14 weeks along, so we don't know the sex of the baby yet.  I am hoping to find out sometime next month.  Both Stephanie and Raul are Hispanic, so Noel and I will be jealous of our baby's beautiful year round tan. Stephanie is working really hard to get her life back on track and she knows starting over with a baby will only set her back more. 

There are some very important factors that make this situation better for us than the last one.  Stephanie placed a baby for adoption last year with the same adoption agency.   They know her very well and said they never had any problems with her and she never tested positive for drugs.  They feel that she is not taking advantage of "the system" and truly wants to make her life better.  She is working closely with other caseworkers who will give random drug tests, so this makes us feel a lot better about this situation.

We are planning to meet with Stephanie and Raul sometime next week.  I asked our caseworker why Stephanie said she picked us and she gave us three reasons: 1) we are Christians and God is very important to her, 2) we don't have children yet and this will be our first, and 3) she loved our dog Charlie.  Who would have thought Charlie would play a part in helping us adopt?

To be honest, I must say that when we first got the phone call we were "cautiously optimistic."  The case sounded great, but so did the last one.  I spent a lot of time praying and thinking about it and the only reason I had to hesitate was fear.  I decided that I wouldn't let fear of another failed adoption play any part in our decision.  After that I have really felt peace about the situation and have not been anxious about it at all.  I don't spend every waking moment in thought and worry about this adoption.  I can actually focus on work when I am at work.  This is a huge difference for me from the last time.

Of course, the thought in the back of my mind is that we still do have several months to wait and that at any time and up to 48 hours after the baby is born, Stephanie could change her mind.  We would be heart broken again, lose a baby, and thousands of dollars.  I would like to ask for your prayers that this does not happen.  Also please pray for Stephanie and the baby during these next several months.  We want her to feel confident in her decision and make this as easy as a process as we can for her.