Sunday, September 5, 2010

A tough decision- 4/22/10

Nicole is 19 and Floyd is 24.  They have been together for 5 years and have two little boys.  They knew that they could not provide for their baby girl, so they picked us to adopt her.  Oh, did I mention she is delivering the baby girl four days from now??  We were shocked when our adoption agency called at 2:30 this afternoon and told us the news.  Noel and I immediately went over to the agency to talk with our caseworker and pick up their profile.  With deer-in-the-headlight expressions on our faces, we took their information home to pray about and discuss it. 

During this process, I have been dreaming of the day when we would get this call.  I wondered how I would feel, what I'd be doing and where I'd be.  What would the birthmom look like?  What is her personality?  How many months do we have before the baby is born?  Nothing prepared me for the whirlwind of emotions that would occur over the next few hours. 

On paper, everything looked great for this case.  Their story was incredible- such love and sacrifice for this baby.  There was minimal drug history, no alcohol history, and very minimal family medical history.  The costs would be very low since we'd only be paying expenses for 6 weeks postpartum.  From all accounts this looked like this would be a very healthy hispanic baby girl.  How could we pass this up?  It just about seemed like a perfect situation, but Noel and I were not on the same page about it.  I was excited about this, but he just wasn't getting "the feeling."  By feeling, he meant, the peace God gives us in a situation to know it is the right decision.  I honestly, don't know if I felt that or not, I was just so excited.  So with much prayer and discussion we decided that we weren't the home for this baby girl.  This was such a difficult decision--  no actually way beyond difficult.  But we know it was the right decision and the Lord's plan for this baby.  Noel and I both know in our hearts that when our baby comes along, we will both know for sure. We know the Lord will give us that peace and reassurance that it is the right time and baby.  Like my brother said, "It will be like when you met your spouse, you will just know."  He is right, I know that we will "just know."

So for tonight, I am writing this with a disappointed, but grateful heart.  The agency told us about the couple's second choice family and they sound wonderful.  So congratulations to this couple in Houston who will be getting a very important phone call tonight.  Our prayers are with you!

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